Essentially Existential Part II
Purpose
So I know that I want to dance is an expression that seems to satisfy me and physically keep me engaged emotionally. Being interested in examining why it inspires me and becomes a muse to my purpose.
The French Algerian philosopher, Albert Camus, once stated,
“Literal meaning of life is whatever you are doing that prevents you from killing yourself.”
Humans always want to place value on everything they do; Unfortunately, we are unable to find any in an irrational universe. The act of doing carries more weight than the words of doing. For example, if you were interested in being an honest person, analyzing, and learning how to be moral (relative to you) carries more meaning than just observing an average person with no action.
We should not question the value of our actions but instead, concentrate on just having the experience. The human experience surrounds in variables and moments of chaos. Searching for the chaos holds no value in the human experience. Since there is no value in an irrational universe, chaos is an inevitable part of our experience and is. Lifting the veil of trying to understand why things are the way they are, is what makes us tick.
“Whatever prevents you from doing your work has become your work.” — Albert Camus
Things involuntarily become the obsession of our minds. Again because there is a false concept of placing a value, we disregard these obsessions as nothing but distractions to what we really must be accomplishing. If there is a pause during these times, we can analyze these obsessions and discover they have become the value we desired.
“He does not die with deliberation but from deliberation.” -Søren Kierkegaard
What holds us is the contemplation of our work. We get caught up in the debate of decisions. Choices expand our anxiety because we are searching for something wrong that needs fixing or rectified. Why was I born in 1983 instead of 2083, why was I not born into wealth, and instead struggle with poverty? There is no sanctuary in a false narrative and explanation for time. Even where you are born, there is no haven in the space you exist. Because we have no concrete answer to our existence, we burden ourselves with this anxiety.
Recognizing our freedom is more massive than we thought; it does not calm us but does the opposite. We have been misleading ourselves, and we thought others cared more about who we are and what we become.
Time
The endeavor to comprehend reality is what perpetuates our anxiety. We would need to make choices with wisdom and certainty. When there is no assurance, the choices decided are adequate Human nature is denied the absolute truth of our choice, so we are thrown into the unknown — moving blindly, without security, knowing what choice is wise.
As we progress to a higher understanding of self-awareness, we become hyper-aware of death, an ultimatum. Time becomes a fragile commodity. While feeling short, we tend to re-examine our life. Playing the movie of our life in our minds, analyzing the choices and paths we made.
I have no idea if the dance was or was not my decision ultimately. Stepping back and reflecting on my journey carries weight to how I am, where I am, and who I am.
