Empathic

Sympathy vs Empathy

My last article, Values, introduced the reality of what current events have brought to many. Fact is only relevant until it directly pertains to your immediate self. When we read or view stories of others suffering, who have no relation to our world, it feels unreachable. Humans are selfish beings. Whether that is from the nature of our biology or the nurture of society is debatable. Once a loved one experiences the sobering reality, do we open ourselves? Enduring to the pain when finding your mother, elder, or sibling brings the world's validity of suffering this pandemic together. Sharing this experience and being side by side with them carries the capacity to have similar feelings, bringing us together and unified. If we are fortunate to have friends and family able to avoid these current events, we can never share these feelings with strangers we do not know. Humans must find understanding; they must have empathy.

Sympathy and empathy are two very similar words that I often misuse. I even use them together in the same sentence when trying to relate to other's pain. Sympathy is sharing similar feelings, and empathy understands other's feelings. Sharing my feelings means I endure with you, together. I can share the same feelings about something with you.  

Empathy understands those feelings of others, but I do not necessarily hold the same feeling. Because there is no experience directly tied to another, being empathetic to others is an elevated emotion. Reluctantly, revealing weakness and vulnerability is a survival instinct. However, once we admit the most authentic truths, can we fully grow to who we want to be.  

I have tested positive for COVID-19. After learning someone close to me tested positive, I knew there was a high possibility I would also be infected. At first, I didn't really want to say anything about it or make a considerable concern about the truth. After thinking about it for some time so far in my quarantine, I decided to share. I share this not for sympathy but to discuss how we can build empathy for others. Making others share the same feelings as me is not the reality of everyone. All of our paths in life are not the same. Taking the time to imagine how others would feel and understanding those feelings can reach all walks of life. Maybe part of the reason there is so much division now is a lack of empathy.

As the world becomes smaller and smaller with the connections we create in the 21st century, establishing relationships can be ironically challenging to keep. Being empathic, understanding what you are feeling, I can communicate appropriately. The social behavior to nurture connections and relationships strengthen these bonds. Tracking other's feelings also teaches me to regulate my own emotions. Humans, who are social creatures, should be adding empathy in their skillset. The ability to connect with others, care, and act with compassion, will drive forward the ability to thrive as a society.  

Reflecting on previous conversations with many, I recall always sympathizing with them. I can experience similar emotions and adopt the feelings they experienced. Never did I give me permission to understand what they felt but still feel differently.  

"The act or capacity of entering into or sharing the feelings of another is known as sympathy. Empathy, on the other hand, is not only an identification of sorts but also connotes an awareness of one's separateness from the observed. One of the most challenging tasks put upon man is reflective commitment to another's problem while maintaining his own identity. "

—Journal of the American Medical Association, 24 May 1958

After my results were revealed, I would find some online advocating that "COVID isn't real," or the "Pandemic is a plan-demic," and "Vaccines are a conspiracy." It would frustrate me, irritate me because I am experiencing this pandemic first hand now. I wanted them to have similar beliefs about this situation because it is accurate to me. What I really wanted after reflecting on everything is I want them to have the space to understand what others felt that did not relay the same beliefs. For that to occur, I have to have the grace to first understand where their feelings were coming from so they can have the room to find empathy for myself.